Ramblings

I think a half marathon registration should be ½ the cost of a full marathon. Right? We pay near full price for half the running enjoyment. That’s just not right.

There was a time when I was running and I turned a corner and completely forgot where I was. It was like my brain rebooted. I kept running but I had no idea from my surroundings were I was. After a few seconds I remembered. I think I invented sleep running.

When I run next to the Hillsboro Airport, every once in awhile there will be a bird sitting on the fence next to the airport. When it sees me coming… if flies another 50 feet down the fence. And yet… there I am again. Another 50 feet down the fence. “This guy is stalking me!!!” Another 50 feet down the fence. And so on and so forth. I guess that’s why them bird brained.

Even though I have told my wife I was done with long runs… I keep finding myself drawn back to marathons. I’m like a bug to a bug zapper.

"Marathoning... you dip into the pain so gradually that the damage is done before you are aware of it. Unfortunately, when the awareness comes, it is excruciating." - John Farrington, Australian marathoner

I like that quote. A lot of my friends think long distance running would be just horrible… and well… it is… but not in the way you’d think. Horrible like a dead battery. Yeah. Horrible like being trapped in your car underwater? No. Oh… I forgot to mention the battery acid dripping on your legs.

I’m fat

When I went to register for the Newport Marathon… on the registration form there was a checkbox for Hercules Division. What the? OH I GET IT! Nice way to say fat people’s group. To qualify… regardless of your height… you have to be over 190 pounds. I weigh just over 190 right now. (Too much good stuff over the Holiday’s)

So there it is. I’m ‘Herculean’... but not hercu-lean I guess. Now… I had a bit of a complex when my when I looked at the insurance charts for proper weight and noticed I am above the large frame recommendation. No… have no idea what size frame I have… I am not a picture… but I do know that for my height I am over the max for large frame.

So there it is… by Newport Marathon standards… and by insurance charts… I am overweight. Now for running… weight does sure matter. I figure my ideal marathon weight is 175… but I’d be happy to be just under 180. So yeah… I have some weight to lose. Anyone want it?

Funny that when I was younger I was doing everything I could to gain weight and I couldn’t gain an ounce. Drank those body builder concoctions… ate like a pig… never could gain. Then one day… seemingly overnight… I went from skin and bones to being able to pinch a little flab on my stomach. Eck… where did that come from. There was never a point I was the right weight… it was like a line I tried to reach… but I jumped right over. You spend all your life climbing up or down the mountain… but where is the vacation on the top? It is like a point so mathematically small that it might as well not exist.

The nice part about running is the more you weight… the more calories you burn. The not so nice part is that running makes you very hungry. Sometimes I want to eat my own arm. (Except I guess it not lean enough right now)

So did I check that box on the registration? HELL NO! I’m afraid I’d lose a few pounds before the race and accidentally win the division only to have so other herculean runners attack me. I guess it is comforting to know I could out run them though.

Yet another dream about running

I skipped a few runs because I was sick… and then I had another dream about running a marathon. I am not sure where or why… but there I was. The trick was they handed out the post marathon trinket before the race… and in this case it happened to be a light post. It was like were all carrying crosses… well… except they were light posts. Mine was in my left arm… which was obviously very tired.

When the lamp post disappeared… there was torrential rain and I can remember thinking my feat would be a mess. I also remember that I was running very slow. I can remember thinking it would take me 5 hours to finish.

Because I missed the long run on Sunday… ( and then two more) I think Yakima River Canyon is scratched off my list. Next opportunity would be Eugene. Then Newport. Maybe I should just set my sites on Newport.

Minus a pair of gloves

Runners not only battle the force of nature, but we also have to battle the force of our nature. Specifically biologically. Runs of longer than 1 hour… especially after making sure we have a good load of fluids… can be a recipe for a restroom stop. Except… there are not many restrooms on the best running spots.

No… I am not a stranger to the woods. Eight years in the Army and there were many weeks when I never had the luxury of a toilet. The one time some genius decided to bring one of those fold up toilet seats with us on a field exercise in Alaska (it wasn’t my idea by the way) and the thing collapsed on me after doing my business in 30 below temp.

Now… if that sounds like a mess… you are right… it was. But add to that that it is 30 below and I only have a precious few minutes with my fingers outside gloves before I lost the ability to close my fingers. Sure enough… before I was properly clean… I couldn’t clench, but I pretty much exhausted anything I could clean myself with at that point. All that was left was some clean white snow… and yes… I did use some hastily constructed snowballs as the equivalent of toilet paper.

As I said… I am no stranger to the woods.

I will admit that I have used the woods a few times during my runs (not *when* I had the runs thankfully). Leaves work much better than snowballs for toilet paper in a pinch. Monday on my run in the hills at the coast… when it became clear I would have to turn back or find a spot in the woods… I chose the woods. Unfortunately… the leaves were all frozen and using something frozen for toilet paper… is not something I need to experience twice in a lifetime.

So my running gloves were sacrificed and I ran home with cold hands. And that is all I have to say about that.

A crystal clear run

During one of my runs on the weekend on in the hills at the beach, I noticed a cool rock in the road. It was off on a spur where they are just put new rock down for a logging road. The rocks were not small… this wasn’t a Sunday drive for a sedan type road… but something the logging equipment could use to get in and out.

The rock was clear and had small crystals in it. I spend a lot of time picking up rocks when we are on the beach… so we already have a collection of interesting ones. These were much larger though. Looking around through the new road I found the best ones I could carry and ran the rest of the way home with them.

They appear to be quartz… very common, but the clear ones are cool. The next day the family hiked back up and we all collected the best ones we could find. I will try to snap some pictures when I get a chance.

Too many shoes

I have never been a shoe guy... but it just occurred to me… I have too many shoes. Just a few pairs is all I used to have. But now that I am running… I have found myself with a mountain of shoes. Perfectly natural for a runner I suppose… we go through a lot of shoes… but now I have 4 pairs of active shoes that I am running in.

I have my road shoes at home… and then an identical pair for road running at the beach. Then at the beach I also have a pair of shoes I run on the beach with… and a pair of trail running shoes for the hills. But those are just for running.
Then I have two pairs of work shows (of course) a pair of old running shoes I use on walks to the beach… a pair of old running shoes I mow the lawn in… I have soccer and softball cleats, I have a pair of indoor basketball shoes, and a pair of outdoor ones. I also have a pair of court shoes (for like racquetball). Then I have a couple of pairs of dress shoes… snow boots and I haven’t even started on the shoes I just wear around on a typical day!

How did this happen? Whatever happened to the days when a pair of converse was all you needed?

Beach run

Not a bad backdrop for a run aye? Yeah... running on the sand is a bit harder than the pavement... but you can't beat the view.



Just a short five miler down the beach today. Running on the sand isn't too bad if you find the right line where the sand is hard. Too wet and it is mushy... to dry and it is very hard to run in... but there is a line that is nice.

It is nice to be able to choose from the beach or the hills for my weekend runs. Really there is nowhere I could run that the scenary wouldn't be amazing. I'm supposed to run 12 miles tomorrow but I may bump it Monday because I am golfing 18 holes.