Ramblings

I think a half marathon registration should be ½ the cost of a full marathon. Right? We pay near full price for half the running enjoyment. That’s just not right.

There was a time when I was running and I turned a corner and completely forgot where I was. It was like my brain rebooted. I kept running but I had no idea from my surroundings were I was. After a few seconds I remembered. I think I invented sleep running.

When I run next to the Hillsboro Airport, every once in awhile there will be a bird sitting on the fence next to the airport. When it sees me coming… if flies another 50 feet down the fence. And yet… there I am again. Another 50 feet down the fence. “This guy is stalking me!!!” Another 50 feet down the fence. And so on and so forth. I guess that’s why them bird brained.

Even though I have told my wife I was done with long runs… I keep finding myself drawn back to marathons. I’m like a bug to a bug zapper.

"Marathoning... you dip into the pain so gradually that the damage is done before you are aware of it. Unfortunately, when the awareness comes, it is excruciating." - John Farrington, Australian marathoner

I like that quote. A lot of my friends think long distance running would be just horrible… and well… it is… but not in the way you’d think. Horrible like a dead battery. Yeah. Horrible like being trapped in your car underwater? No. Oh… I forgot to mention the battery acid dripping on your legs.

I’m fat

When I went to register for the Newport Marathon… on the registration form there was a checkbox for Hercules Division. What the? OH I GET IT! Nice way to say fat people’s group. To qualify… regardless of your height… you have to be over 190 pounds. I weigh just over 190 right now. (Too much good stuff over the Holiday’s)

So there it is. I’m ‘Herculean’... but not hercu-lean I guess. Now… I had a bit of a complex when my when I looked at the insurance charts for proper weight and noticed I am above the large frame recommendation. No… have no idea what size frame I have… I am not a picture… but I do know that for my height I am over the max for large frame.

So there it is… by Newport Marathon standards… and by insurance charts… I am overweight. Now for running… weight does sure matter. I figure my ideal marathon weight is 175… but I’d be happy to be just under 180. So yeah… I have some weight to lose. Anyone want it?

Funny that when I was younger I was doing everything I could to gain weight and I couldn’t gain an ounce. Drank those body builder concoctions… ate like a pig… never could gain. Then one day… seemingly overnight… I went from skin and bones to being able to pinch a little flab on my stomach. Eck… where did that come from. There was never a point I was the right weight… it was like a line I tried to reach… but I jumped right over. You spend all your life climbing up or down the mountain… but where is the vacation on the top? It is like a point so mathematically small that it might as well not exist.

The nice part about running is the more you weight… the more calories you burn. The not so nice part is that running makes you very hungry. Sometimes I want to eat my own arm. (Except I guess it not lean enough right now)

So did I check that box on the registration? HELL NO! I’m afraid I’d lose a few pounds before the race and accidentally win the division only to have so other herculean runners attack me. I guess it is comforting to know I could out run them though.

Yet another dream about running

I skipped a few runs because I was sick… and then I had another dream about running a marathon. I am not sure where or why… but there I was. The trick was they handed out the post marathon trinket before the race… and in this case it happened to be a light post. It was like were all carrying crosses… well… except they were light posts. Mine was in my left arm… which was obviously very tired.

When the lamp post disappeared… there was torrential rain and I can remember thinking my feat would be a mess. I also remember that I was running very slow. I can remember thinking it would take me 5 hours to finish.

Because I missed the long run on Sunday… ( and then two more) I think Yakima River Canyon is scratched off my list. Next opportunity would be Eugene. Then Newport. Maybe I should just set my sites on Newport.