Phase #2 delayed

So... one thing to avoid when giving up caffeine is coughing. Caffeine restricts that blood vessels in your brain, and when you stop taking it they enlarge and give you a headache. Coughing feels like a gunshot to the head. Unfortunately I got bronchitis very soon after giving up caffeine. Not fun. And then I have an allergic reaction to an antibiotic for the bronchitis, bit baseball size welt on my arm... and of course the topper, my knee. The one on my knee provided enough swelling to make if feel like I torn the meniscus in my knee again, and something else not right, and now every morning my knee doesn't want to move, not to mention the pain. Clearly, I had not reached the bottom yet.

12 pounds of weight loss so far (and that includes the holiday get togethers and such) I will come out of this storm. Funny I think about running when right no I can hardly walk. I will patch my soul with a nice run soon. Can't wait.

PS: Pff one of 3 blood pressure medicines already! BP still at 91/61 CRAZY!

Phase #1 the cleanse

So in the 10 days since my last post, a lot has changed. My trendline is looking up. Sure my view is clouded by the multitude of symptoms from caffeine withdrawal, but headed in a positive direction. What will be at the end of this new path? I don't know exactly, but it will be something.

So here is what has changed so far, I quit caffeine and alcohol, and have only eaten one meal a day, while drinking veggie juice the rest. Results so far, 9 pounds of weight loss. It isn't a 'diet' as in "I am not trying to restrict my calorie intake to lose weight", it is a change of the way I eat, it is my new diet.

I haven't been hungry, but yes I have felt like shit, though I believe that mainly is from the caffeine withdrawal. Anything that can make you feel that bad when you stop using it, IS THAT BAD. Damn it coffee, you were a good friend and I knew thee well, but seriously, get over the breakup, I am not coming back, I will not be a slave to you ever again. In all seriousness, it should be illegal to put you in things just to get people addicted.

I have learned more about veggies and fruit in the past few weeks than the entire rest of my life. Veggies are the key to the new me. Veggie powered. Juice powered. Caffeine, alcohol, and hopefully soon 100% medicine free. This is the new me. Veggies *are* my medicine, veggies are my fuel.

As soon as the caffeine withdrawal subsides I will be back in the gym to start phase #2 (get in shape) and then phase #3 (start running) and then who the heck knows. I am may be all phased out by then. =)

I am not back, but I am coming back.

Time to Rise

This is it. This is the moment I have longed for. I have passed the lowest of lows; it is my time, to rise.

We never know how high we are
By Emily Dickinson
We never know how high we are    Till we are called to rise;  And then, if we are true to plan,    Our statures touch the skies—     The Heroism we recite   Would be a daily thing,  Did not ourselves the Cubits warp    For fear to be a King—

I want to run again

Last night I dreamed about running. No, it wasn't agonizing or painful... it was free like the wind. I have pretty much given up on my dream to run the Boston Marathon... but there are times I wonder if I mustered all of my energy, if I changed my lifestyle to solely focus on this one goal... could I possibly qualify? It seems beyond impossible right now, but how many nights between now and the end of my days will I question if I failed not because I didn't physically have the ability, but because I just didn't try hard enough.