No magic

As much as I’d like to believe it so… my body is telling me that no… it will not be ready to BQ in Portland. I just might make it try anyway… but it may not be in the cards. When I first realized this, I was upset. Then I realized, there is still time for me to change my path… to tweak my schedule… there is still a chance if I change my course a bit… then who knows.

Honestly… I can’t tell what is up with my body right now. The last three weeks had long runs of 20, 18 and 20. I bombed on the last two. The 18 I blamed on the altitude… but last Sunday… there is just no excuse for what happened. I was feeling great, after the first few miles when I can usually gauge my run, I thought… sweet… it will be a good day. The reality is, I fell apart as bad as I ever have on a run. At mile 17.5 I semi-collapsed into a steaming pile of goo. I can’t recall EVER stopping on one of my runs (except for a stop light or water). This time I was done, finished… kaput.

During the run there was a time when I realized that despite my efforts, I would not be able to keep pace (which by the way… was equal to my actual marathon pace) and for a few miles I thought… this can’t be happening. I was having a conversation with my body… I say go… you go… you don’t get to say no... but slowly, and things happen agonizingly slowly on a long run… like a train wreck in slow motion, I realized, I am not going to be able to finish at this pace. I coasted slower… and slower… and slower… and then there was some nice green grass and that is where I ended up. (With 2.5 miles to go) At this point I would have called a taxi had I had a cell phone. As it was… I sat where I fell watching the As much as I’d like to believe it so… my body is telling me that no… it will not be ready to BQ in Portland. I just might make it try anyway… but it may not be in the cards. When I first realizef this, I was upset. Then I realized, there is still time for me to change my path… to tweak my schedule… there is still a chance if I change my course a bit… then who knows.

I might still be there today had I not noticed someone out of the corner of my eye crossing a parking lot toward me, presumably to see if I was OK. Good Lord the humility. I stumbled up and off without so much as a glance in their direction… my pride and I were trying to take the next exit to nowhereville. The last 2.5 miles were no picnic either. Even given up my pace goal of 8:45 per mile… I kept slowing down like a car out of gas. It was nuts! I think at one point I was on the verge of going backwards. Then… at about 1.5 miles to go… it happened. I WAS PASSED! In my 1+ years of trainin runs, I think I have only been passed once. Double that now. And I think I was stumbling along at about 10:30 per mile about then. I can WALK faster than that. Everything just seemed to fall apart. I finished without walking. That was my only saving grace. My moral victory. Pitiful as it was. Afterwards I was in bad shape…. Very dehydrated. Took a day straight of drinking water before I could pee. What they heck happened to me?

Here is my official ‘Bad Day’ song. I listened to it a lot last Fall while running. I am a sucker for Fall… and I love the line “you kick up the leaves and the magic is lost.” It is exactly how I felt on my run on Sunday… when for the second long run in a row… I couldn’t find the magic.

Bad Day
by Daniel Powter

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oooh.. a holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day