The inside scoop on the Portland Marathon
Part of the reason I wanted to run the Portland Marathon in the first place, is because I finished it before (1/2 running and ½ walking). Well… to be clearer, I finished it with my ex. While I certainly have put the past long behind me, I wanted a Portland Marathon that was mine and mine alone. So it was partially that thought that was in my mind when I started my whole marathon journey.
It will help to explain that my last marriage ended rather abruptly and without much explanation. Of course I figured there was probably another person that made that decision easier, but I was never given any explanation. There was also an anonymous letter that arrived in the mail before the divorce that stated she was having an affair with someone where she worked. We actually worked there together before I moved on to a better job, and I knew most of the people there. I spent a bit of time pondering who this person might have been… but then I just quickly moved on. And move on I did… finishing college and getting married to my perfect match… thus inheriting two wonderful stepsons.
Fast forward to the Portland Marathon this year
About mile 11 or 12 on a long stretch in the industrial area where the course loops back on itself so you run by marathoners further back than you, I saw… you know who… out of the corner of my eye. Not only that… but the person running next to her answered the question of who the mystery person was.
So there I was… running ‘my’ marathon… the culmination of a year and a half of training, and in one single step my mind drags me into a past long discarded and I feel as if ‘my’ marathon is tainted once again. Shit. Now… here is something funny, the mystery person… well… he was the person I hired to replace me when I left my old company. Feel free to laugh with me. You have to admit it is funny and sad at the same time.
A miracle on the horizon
While I have quite a bit of experience at being a step dad… I have never had kids of my own. Now, to me… my step kids are my kids… I really don’t treat them any other way. My youngest doesn’t even know yet that I am not his real father because his dad took off before he was old enough to know him. My wife and I have been trying to add another family member for awhile… and on many runs I have daydreamed about what it would be like to bring a child into this world. A three hour run can seem short in the company of such thoughts.
Well… my big news is… we will have a new family member this summer! (Early June) I am thrilled beyond words. There were times I wondered exactly why I was running… and I always had a feeling that would be defined at a later time. But perhaps my marathon training will give me the strength to be a wonderful father… through screaming and fighting… through bad dreams and oopsies… perhaps the training will help me make the sacrifice that all good parents must make.
Running for itself doesn’t seem very important right now. Oh I am still running, but it feels more selfish. I do know it can be part of a balanced and healthy lifestyle, but my new spin on it is ‘daddy training’. If I can make it through the wall and the last six miles… perhaps… just maybe… a nuclear poopie diaper will not do me in.
4 comments:
You have fathered a child. This is so awesome. Yes, more important than running.
Do not let the past undermine you. The "other" person doesn't have the shred of a chance if the union is unassailable in the first place. Everything happens for a reason. You found your perfect match, you say so yourself. And now that match will result in a new living being.
Bless your ex and her running mate, and move on. You have your life to live.
Congrats! That's great news... That will be just enough time for a Spring marathon ;) Don't count on too much sleep after June :)
Hi there,
First, Congrats on the newest addition to your family. As for the "nuclear poopie diaper," endurance and a good strong clothespin!
Second, I have a question: When you ran your first marathon do you remember any item in particular that you didn't have for the race that wished you would have, or that you now use for races that you can't imagine how you lived without in your first races?
I have a friend who is running his first marathon this February in New Orleans and I'd like to give him something that he can use for/in the race that he may not have thought of. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you and Congrats again!
Congratulations. I am so happy for you! Now you will have another smiling/beaming face waiting for you at the finish line...or to someday run by your side. Have a wonderful t-day and wishing you all the best.
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